If you’re feeling like there’s too much to do, things are backing up, and there’s just not enough time, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and paralyzed. Here are some tips to overcome:

• Gather up the “Action” items. Create a list of all the things you think you have to do — actions to take, bills to pay, phone calls, events, shopping, and anything weighing on your mind. Go down the list and ask yourself “what ACTION needs to be taken on this?” You may find some things are just “mental clutter” and not actionable and can be immediately eliminated.

• Say “No.” Remove extraneous items from your to-do list by writing down your top 5 “life priorities” and if items on your list don’t contribute, immediately scratch them off. Prevent future items from getting on your to do list by practicing this skill.

• Prioritize what’s real. Many times we identify tasks as high priority that really aren’t important and if everything’s marked “urgent”, nothing will get done. So review your to-do’s and be realistic about what’s a high priority.

• Delegate. Sometimes we get caught up thinking we have to do it all ourselves, but if you’re not getting things done the guilt and stress can be all-consuming.

  So realize it’s ok to ask for help from family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, or hire someone to help, like an organizer or a virtual assistant like www.TasksEveryday.com. What items can you hand off to keep you focused on the “urgents”?

  Be sure to tell the person you’ve delegated to the order you need things done, and assign deadlines for each task. It’ll prevent any confusion and frustration from either of you and hopefully keep them willing to help in the future.

• Estimate time-to-completion & block time. For truly urgent items you can’t delegate, split them two groups based on how long they will take:

  - “2 minutes or less”
  - “Takes longer to accomplish”

  Then block a hour on your calendar to knock out as many 2 minute items as you can. Set a timer to keep you focused.

  For “takes longer” items, schedule a specific time on your calendar you’ll work on them and just do it.

• Get a “body double.” If you work better with someone else around, ask someone to sit with you for a bit while you work things out.

Then don’t forget to reward yourself when you’re caught up and to express your gratitude to those who helped you.

Perfectionism is ok if you’re an Olympian who’s been training a lifetime for a single flawless performance, but it can be destructive in daily life. So unless you’re training for the Gold, remember that “perfect” is just a goal to work toward, and not a lifestyle choice.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t work hard or aim high, but when taken to extremes, perfectionism contributes to an overall feeling of never having enough, and of never being satisfied with what you do have. It breeds disappointment for you, and resentment towards you from others when they can’t live up to impossible standards.

I hear many clients express extreme and constant disappointment in many areas in their lives, and find that they regularly employ “all or nothing” thinking like, “If I can’t do it 110% then I won’t do it at all” or, “I feel paralyzed by this stuff and don’t know where to start,” or “I could work for hours but it still wouldn’t make a dent.”

This only creates unhealthy feelings of guilt, depression, and low self-esteem. Often perfectionists fear rejection from others if everything they do doesn’t qualify as sheer genius, and constantly striving for perfection can breed a fear of failure, anxiety, and even contribute to procrastination. All of which can ultimately lead to depression and total immobilization.

So how to overcome perfectionism? Start by vowing to do your “best” (not to be “perfect”) and allow yourself the flexibility for “good enough.” Realize that we’re all in the same boat since no one is perfect. Forgive yourself and others for not being perfect. Recognize that character isn’t developed at the finish line but in your efforts to get there. Reward yourself when you’ve done a good job. Be aware of “grass is greener” thoughts and stop comparing; instead focus on the postive in yourself and others and work towards acceptance.

Want some specific tools to overcome perfectionism? I love this article on LiveStrong.com.

New Years is a great time for a fresh start and setting new goals. But knowing how to keep yourself motivated is a skill you can use year-round. So for those of you whose resolutions are already waning, try these tips to get re-energized and keep on truckin’.

• Remember what you’re working for. Remind yourself of all the good things to come once you reach your goals. Then visualize life beyond the finish line so you don’t lose steam and stop short.

• Prioritize. It’s easy to get overwhelmed if everything seems equally important. So make a list with highest priorities first. Then start working on #1 first and move down the list.

• Identify & eliminate the roadblocks. Ask yourself if an item on your list is really going to help you accomplish your main goals. If not, eliminate it completely. Or if there’s a task you don’t want to do that’s preventing you from moving forward on other items, do it first and get it over with. You’ll be done before you know it and it’ll clear the path to get on with the easy stuff.

• Make goals “bite size.” Break long term goals into smaller, more manageable phases.
  • Be realistic, and give yourself deadlines.
  • For small hands-on tasks, try setting a timer and stopping when it dings so you still get stuff accomplished but won’t burn out or dread it next time.
  • Pick a day and schedule it. Sometimes just knowing when you’ll work on something will keep the guilt at bay.
  • Just get started — tell yourself, “I’ll do one small thing and if I feel like it, I’ll keep going.”

• Do it with a friend. We call it “body doubling” when you get more done just because someone’s there with you. Recognize those times you need someone else around and ask for help.

• Ask someone who inspired you how they did it. Knowing you’re not alone and that what you’re aiming for can be done is very uplifting.

• Find rewards that work for you, then mix & match. Whether it’s allowing time for a hobby, a movie, an ice cream cone, or a walk, make a list of things you can do to celebrate each small success and mix them up so you don’t get bored.

• Track your progress. When you’re feeling particularly unmotivated, take a look back at how far you’ve already come and be proud of yourself for wanting to do something better for yourself.

• Tell someone what you’ve done. Sometimes we just need to hear someone else say “good job.” It’s ok to be proud of what you’re doing and ask for a pat on the back.

• Think positive & lose the excuses. You will get there. Rephrase negative thoughts to focus on how good you’ll feel when you finish.

• Know that this is only temporary. “This too shall pass” is my mom’s mantra in tough times, and she’s right. As usual.

• Ease up. You don’t get points for speed or being perfect, both of which are common paths to burn out. So allow yourself some wiggle room. The ebb & flow is a natural part of any personal growth process, so watch out for “all or nothing” thinking and put small setbacks in perspective. They don’t equal failure.

• Make it fun. Otherwise, what’s the point?

I often hear from my clients that they’re severly overwhelmed and feel like they’re doing everything themselves with no help from other family members. Personally, I believe that if people are old enough to help make a mess, they’re old enough to clean it up, and running a household requires “all hands on deck.” In most cases, I don’t think that the household chores are maliciously neglected, but that the family doesn’t fully understand how not doing the chores are making my clients feel, don’t realize that they need help, or don’t specifically know to help.

So what’s needed here is a little communication, with an emphasis on how things are communicated being of utmost importance.

Step 1: Warm up. Everyone’s busy, so set the scene by letting your family know you have something important you’d like to discuss and schedule a time.

Step 2: During the discussion, calmly explain what isn’t working, how it makes you feel, and if/how it affects others and why this is important. Pinpoint the areas you feel need the most attention.

Step 3: Ask for help. They may not know that you even need it.

Step 4: Be specific. Instead of saying, “clean the kitchen,” say “Sweep the floor, bleach the counters, and load and run the dishwasher each night after dinner.”

Step 5: Create task lists. Create a list with each of your familiy members with tasks they prefer doing. For tasks that no one likes, rotate them between family members to keep it fair.

Step 6: Define what the end result will look like. If there’s a certain way you like things done, show them. The goal here is to be on the same page about what the end result will look like so you’re not disappointed and they’re not criticized when helping.

Step 7: Schedule it. Ask your family to schedule times they feel they can get things done to prevent nagging. Then ask them how they’d like you to handle it if they don’t carry through, like identifying special phrases you can say that will spur them to action without causing anger or resentment on either side.

Step 8: Offer praise and show appreciation. When the task is finished, always say thank you and let the other person know why their help was important to you and the impact is has on the whole family. Make a family fun list to reward yourselves for jobs well done.

What does a cartoon fish movie have in common with organizing? Dory.

Those of you with kids know what I’m talking about — Ellen Degeneres’ blue fish character in “Finding Nemo” who suffers from severe memory loss. I had a client once compare her ADD to “feeling like Dori everyday” and it got me thinking about how I could apply that movie to her continuing organizing success. I asked her to repeat the phrase “Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!” every time she felt like she was losing steam. She said it worked for her, and even went a step further — she brilliantly personalized this mantra by asking her 4 year old to draw her a picture of Dory she could put on her desk to remind her of her son, her goals, and how exactly to get there. Just keep swimming.

"Just keep swimming!"

That phrase has since become my own mantra in difficult times, and I feel that I find new ways to employ it each day. But to put it in the context of organizing, I can apply it to each phase of the organizing process: the sort & purge, implementing and evolving new systems, and maintenance.

The organizing process begins with the “sort and purge” and it can feel overwhelming to finally go through years worth of belongings and the emotional baggage attached to them. It gets easier as you learn to disassociate “you” from “your things” and it takes practice and introspection. But just keep swimming and you’ll get through it all.

As new organizing systems are put in place, you come face-to-face with a lifetime of unorganized habits that can be difficult to change. But you can adapt to new systems with time and practice. No system is perfect the first time around and requires “tweaking” so that it fits how you live. If you are committed to becoming organized, your systems will evolve over time and become easier. Just keep swimming and you’ll evolve into a more “organized you.”

And finally, maintenance. There is no secret here. It’s just a phase where you continue to tailor your systems, and allocate time each day to the organizing process. I think most people forget about this phase and that’s where clutter can begin to pile up again, but it’s the most important phase in organizing because it’s where you continue to practice the skills you learned along the way to keep your space thinned out from clutter, adapt systems as your life changes, and commit time to staying organized. Just keep swimming and life gets better.

Thanks, Dory. You’re my hero!

Procrastination is dangerous. It can easily become a bad habit, which turns into a vicious cycle, then mushrooms into an unhappy lifestyle. It causes guilt and anxiety which sap energy and ruin self-esteem. But what causes procrastination?

1. Emotions. Procrastination isn’t neccessarily about avoiding work, but about avoiding the emotions that the work will trigger, like feeling overwhelmed, powerless, controlled by others, sad, angry and resentful. We use avoidance in an effort to delay these feelings, but unfortunately there’s an avalanche of other emotions that piggyback procrastination like guilt, anxiety, and feelings of being weak or lazy. Recognize that procrastinating saps more energy than the actual task requires and get a jump on it.
2. Willpower. This is really an issue with prioritizing. If we label something as “unimportant,” “not fun” or “tiring,” we won’t do anything about it. Prioritize a task based on logic and real importance in your life rather than emotion and realize not everything in life is fun.
3. Time. There are times when we’re too busy to accomplish everything on our To Do list, but be careful to not make yourself “feel” busier than you actually are. Don’t fixate on quantity — instead, be realistic about what’s truly important and focus on it. Also, recognize that most things take less time to complete than we think.
4. Perfectionism. Give yourself permission to allow low priority tasks to be “good enough” and move on.
5. Self-Esteem. Fear of failure, fear of success, feeling intimidated, and negative thinking can be self-defeating. You’re the one in control of these thoughts so it’s your responsibility to turn them into something positive. Pay attention to what triggers your negative thoughts then immidately stop them and replace them with new, positive mantras. If you can’t think of something positive to say right away, try focusing on how completing a task would help you or someone you love. It can give you the motivation to take action.

“I just don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to do it.” Ever said that before? Everyone has. It’s very common to feel stretched so thin that the thought of one more thing on your plate can threaten to shatter your life into a million bits and, well, who would clean THAT mess up?

But it’s important to recognize that this statement is actually an excuse to procrastinate. To combat it, you must declutter your “mental space.”

To begin, force yourself to sit quietly for 60 seconds. Think about everything you have to do and let the wave wash over you. Then take a deep breath, and focus on one thing at a time.

1. Categorize your high priority items. This will most likely be the first 3 things that popped into your head and where you should place your focus. Everything else can wait.
2. Identify what’s causing you to procrastinate. Emotions? Time? Trying to make it perfect? By labeling what we feel, we can begin to understand and counteract it.
3. Be clear on what you really want to happen. If you don’t have a clear vision of what your outcome will be, it’ll be difficult to get started. Visualize completing the task and feel the relief that comes with it, and realize that you can always change course once you begin.
4. Schedule time to do it. If it’s “Urgent,” schedule a specific date and time on your calendar. If it’s “Can Do Later,” start a To Do list and write it down, then assign a loose deadline for getting it done, like one week from today. Putting it on paper will act as a backup so you don’t have to remember it and will clear that mental space for more important things.
5. Start small. Break large or overwhelming tasks into smaller segments to make them manageable to fit your timeframe or emotional state.
6. Do it anyway. Even if your plan isn’t perfect or you’re feeling emotional, just get started. It’ll get easier once you dig in because the “mental dead weight” will be lifted and any negativity will dissipate.
7. Celebrate. Making “fun” part of the process will make you more eager to tackle the next task.

Sometimes just having a clear mind, a quick plan, and taking small steps can cause great relief and encourage us to continue making progress.

Procrastination is a nasty beast that can suck all our time away, and fill us with guilt and shame, and even prevent us from doing things we enjoy because we feel that unless we “finish our chores first” we can’t go play.

So here’s the good news: Procrastination is something totally under our control, and can do a lot about to see immediate results. Here are four things you can do right now to get you on the road to conquering procrastination:

1. Use the “2 minute rule.” If it takes less than 2 minutes to complete….do it now!
2. Use a timer. Here are 3 great ways to use it:
• Time yourself as you do a task and to see how long it actually takes (usually a lot less than you think, so it won’t be so overwhelming next time!)
• Set it for 15-20 minutes and stop when it dings. This will keep your “chores” to a manageable limit and prevent burnout.
• Race yourself. If a task seems daunting, set a timer for 15 minutes and “speed organize.” Basically race yourself to get through it quickly.
3. Enlist help:
• Get a “body double.” Call one of your friends and ask if they’ll sit with you while you sort mail, go through a box, etc. It makes the time go faster and you’ll feel like there’s someone holding you accountable. And if they bring over a craft or organzing project also, you’ll both get stuff done!
• Ask. This one can be difficult to get used to, but ask friends or family to help out with chores, or pitch in on a big project. My mom always said, “Many hands make light work.”
• Delegate. Sometimes it’s necessary to hand out chores to your family members, or ask a friend to pick something up for you if they’re already headed that way, or hire someone who specializes in it. Just because something needs to get done doesn’t mean YOU have to be the one to do it. Especially if it’s something you really don’t enjoy.

4. Reward yourself. After every task, do something small to celebrate (take a quick walk, call a friend, have some tea, watch your favorite TV show, hang a picture in your newly organized room, etc.) It’ll keep you movtivated for the next time!

Try these out and I’d love to hear which ones worked best for you!

One of the most frequent questions I get is “How do I get more ‘me’ time?” This question usually comes from my clients who are busy parents, and let’s face it, what parents aren’t “busy” parents?

So here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Learn to say “No”. This article from MSN has some good advice for exactly how to word things so no one’s offended.
2. Create lists. Remember to make lists of tasks as well as lists of fun things you’d like to do so the fun stuff doesn’t get pushed aside or forgotten.
3. Prioritize. Rank your lists so you get a better handle on what’s really important to you.
4. Stay focused. If someone asks you to do something that’s not a top priority on your list, say “No.”
5. “Good enough” IS an option. Understand that perfection is both a myth and a time killer.
6. Focus on what you can control and let the rest go. If you’re feeling out of control, remember that even though some of the negative things in your life are out of your control, you CAN control a million other choices in your day.
7. Go online. There are some great websites to help inspire, instruct & help with procrastination:
   • www.somedaysyndrome.com
   • www.happinessproject.typepad.com
8. Enlist help. I find that many people are over-stressed because they simply haven’t asked anyone for help. Ask friends, family, and hired professionals to help you.
   • “Body doubling” – ask someone like a spouse or friends to do things with you. Sometimes it helps to have someone else nearby for encouragement.
   • Delegate or Hire help: nanny, house cleaner, organizer, babysitters, church drop offs for mommy errands, personal assistant for errands
   • Make chores list with spouse or hired help to split tasks
9. Schedule it. Yes, actually put it on the calendar.
10. Block time. Schedule chunks of time for tasks in your calendar. Sometimes seeing overcomitted appointments visually allows you to move things around before they become a time crunch. Be sure to block off time for:
    • Work
    • Family night
    • Date night
    • Play dates
    • Exercise
    • Alone time
    • Personal Care
11. Set timers for work, chores & play to stay on track

With all the new websites and gadgets out there to help keep people organized, here are a few of my favorites to help you manage your time and combine your calendars:

1. Use a calendar/contact management system like Outlook that has a:
   • Calendar
   • To Do list
   • Contact list
     You can print these and carry them with you if you’re a “paper person” or sync with your PDA or phone if you’re a technorati.
2. Try an Admin Assistant and Family Calendaring site like:
   • www.jott.com : Assistant plan – $3.95/mo to convert voicemail to text; has iPhone & Outlook apps
   • www.rememberthemilk.com – free but more complex to use
   • www.cozi.com – my personal favorite. It has a grocery list feature, printable coupons, syncs with Outlook & iPhone, has reminders; cost is free. Use the color coding it provides to clearly label appointments for work, family, doctor’s visits, vacations & reminders.
   • www.famundo.com
3. Meal planning, Grocery shopping lists, Coupons
   • Lowes Foods to go: www.lowestogo.com – purchase groceries online and someone at the store shops for you and you pick up in designated zone. Can repeat common shopping items.
   • Meal planning sites with grocery lists:
     • The USDA has a wonderful resource with shopping & food safety tips, planned meals, and shopping lists.
     • www.bigoven.com – $29.95/mo for recipe software or searchable database, calculate nutritional values, has calendar for meal planning
     • www.mealsmatter.org – cost is free
     • www.sparkpeople.com – great for dieting & fitness meal planning!
   • Coupon sites
     • www.coupons.com
     • www.couponsuzy.com
     • www.couponcabin.com
     • www.couponmom.com
     • www.retailmenot.com
     • www.smartsource.com
     • www.dealcatcher.com
     • www.redplum.com
     • www.fabuloussavings.com
4. Mail management
   Stop junk mail with one of these free or almost free websites:
   • www.proquo.com
   • www.dmachoice.org/consumerassistance.php
   • www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t
5. Password management
   • Use an electronic password organizer that you can print and carry in your binder, or sync to your PDA or phone. The Little Virgo Electronic Password Organizer is $14.95 and my website gives tips on creating secure passwords: http://www.littlevirgo.com/clutter-control/password-organizers/
   • Internet Password Organizer is a paper notebook and costs $19.95 http://www.internetpasswordorganizer.com/Where%20To%20Buy.html
6. Sending Cards & Packages:
   • www.sendoutcards.com – for the price of a stamp, you can import your contact list from Outlook, schedule cards, pick card templates and write messages (even in your own handwriting!) and they will be mailed for you. Saves money by not having to purchase stationary or cards anymore!
   • If you send a lot of packages, save yourself a trip to the post office by scheduling a free pickup online:
     • www.ups.com
     • www.usps.com – can schedule up to 3 months out
7. Track family medical records
   • www.healthvault.com – cost is free and you can track the whole family in one account
   • www.google.com/health – track one user per email address